That’s right. Al’s Plumbing ripped off his mother. The one standing next to him.

Apparently, Al’s sent out an A/C repairman that quoted her repairs at $1,500, which she went ahead and wrote a check for. Another repairman came out later to actually fulfill said quote, and after rummaging around a bit, told her that it would actually cost an additional $7,000 dollars to fix it. She (wisely) canceled the whole thing and found somebody else that did it for $600. But stingy ole Al won’t give back her initial $1,500.

These two were there most of the morning, but shortly before lunch, a police officer stopped by and talked to them for a little while and they left a few minutes after he did.

Sooooo?! Did the woman get her $1,500 back? Did Al finally see the folly of his crooked dealings? What is Al short for anyways? Alfred? Albert? Maybe Allison? Does Al even exist? Or is he just a figurehead or mascot created by some Franks or Rogers to make their business more personable? Maybe Al’s just a representation of “the man” for the purposes of this story to further illustrate the suppression of the common man by big business?

There goes my sleep for the rest of the week.

Seemed innocent enough, until I noticed the word “premier.” Suddenly, all innocence faded from the world. I rushed to Dictionary.com as quickly as my fingertips could take me. Unfortunately, in this case, my initial response wasn’t 100% accurate. While I still hold on to my belief that is an oddly phrased ad, it’s not technically poor grammar. I was thinking that they had meant premiere, but it turns out that premier was perfectly acceptable in that context..

By the time I had fully completed my research, though, I had already thought through my mockery of such a foolish oversight and figured it a waste to not share. The definition of premier that works is as follows:

2. First in status or importance; principal or chief.

Fine, fine. Not how I would have worded it, but technically it works. They are the highest-ranked or most notable of Smoky Mountain Cabin Rentals. (Side note: Are the cabins premier or is it a premier rental of otherwise unremarkable cabins? Or maybe the cabin’s on a premier Smoky Mountain?) All that to say, my mind instantly jumped to this definition:

1: the person who is head of state

Specifically, a Russian head of state. Hence, I expected that the ad should look something like this instead:

I hate when English works against me.

It’s beautiful.

Step 2: Cut it off:

Eat that, Jenny Craig.

As is anybody who bears a striking resemblance to him.

Yeah, that’s the VP’s stapler in Jello.

I love my job.