It feels weird to be able to vividly remember something that happened 20 years ago.  I was at my cousins’, watching in terrified awe as they jumped from the third step of their staircase to the carpet miles below.  I was sitting on the back of Mom’s bike, soaring through the Duck Creek Greenbelt in the early morning with the lingering taste of Raisin Bran still on my lips.  I was filling a lapse between Super Mario Bros. and Gyromite by watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  I was living on Sycamore in Garland, falling asleep in my firetruck bunk bed to Dad gently singing House at Pooh Corner.

Twenty years ago.

I don’t feel like I have twenty years’ worth of memories to pull from.  But, I can’t think of another span of time that sounds more appropriate.  It just feels strange to have my conscious existence summed up so concisely.  To me, it wasn’t twenty years ago, it was at the beginning.  The beginning of me.  The beginning of everything.

That period in my life doesn’t move, but it keeps getting further away.  I will always have been four years old in March 1988, but not so long ago that was 15 years ago.  Not so long ago, it was 10 years.  Not so long ago, it was last week.

I can still taste the Raisin Bran.

I’m not going to follow through on those impulses at the moment, because I’m already doing lots of work on the side of my full-time job, so I don’t really have time for Starbucks. But, if/when that starts to slow down, you may see me back in the old familiar green apron.

Mmm… coffee…

I was actually in class for less than twenty minutes, because all we had to do was take a 36-question multiple choice test. As I finally filled in the last of the thousands of answer bubbles I’ve filled during my college career, I sat there in the classroom in quiet reflection. The back of the room was lit while the front set of lights were switched off, and with the fading sunlight seeping in through the half-open blinds on the windows, the room had a soft, relaxing atmosphere. Though I was done with my test, I figured that since it was likely the last time that I would sit in a college classroom as a student, I shouldn’t be in a huge rush to leave. And since I’m possibly one of the most sentimental people to ever walk our great Earth, I wanted to kind of savor my final moments of college. So, there I sat, thinking back over my college career, and it’s slow progression over the past six years.

And then I left. Though I’ve not technically graduated yet, college is pretty much behind me.

This means I get a raise, right? …right? …hello?

Beating a Zelda game is always a bittersweet experience for me. It’s kind of like finishing a great book. There’s a sense of accomplishment and closure, but at the same time you’re disappointed that what you’ve spent dozens of hours working through is finally done. The journey is through. There’s nothing left.

This is magnified for me in the case of The Legend of Zelda, because playing a Zelda game is quite honestly a nearly-religious experience for me. I anticipate it for months or even years, waiting for it’s release. I study it’s progression through interviews and articles. All the while, I fondly reminisce about the first Zelda games and the impact that they had on my childhood, hoping that the latest entry will somehow recapture some of that magic. Because, frankly, the most rewarding, mysterious, and bilssful childhood escapism of my early years came through the Zelda games, and the world that they exposed me to.

So, playing a Zelda game today is partially an attempt to somehow reconnect with the innocent, imaginative world of my idealized childhood. And though I am always able to do that to a certain degree, it is not nearly to the level that I would have hoped. There are certain themes, characters, locations, or melodies in each chapter of the Legend of Zelda that capture my imagination and reawaken that childhood joy for an instant. However, I always go into a new Zelda game with the foolish hope that it might somehow fully recapture the imagination and joy that I experienced 15 years ago. And it never does. Though the Zelda series has arguably been the most consistently excellent series in the history of video games, each subsequent release since the mid-1990s has left me slightly disappointed. It’s not that the games have lost the magic. I’ve grown up.

So, last night was bittersweet. The final battle was gripping and epic, the ending was emotional and cinematic, but I put the controller down as a 23-year-old man, not as the 10-year-old boy I had hoped to become a little bit reacquainted with.

I’ll try again in 4 years.

Now, I’m not saying that Independence Day hasn’t been at all tainted, because it certainly has. But, when one thinks of Independence Day, one tends to first think of patriotism, the American flag, democracy, and the Revolutionary War. …And maybe barbeques, fireworks, and that Will Smith movie from a couple years back. Maybe it’s the fact that the holiday is called “Independence Day” that makes it kind of difficult to forget the true meaning of the holiday. Or maybe it’s the fact that there’s only so much money that corporate America can make off of fireworks, hot dogs, and American Flag t-shirts, that has kept it from becoming too commercial. Whatever it is, I think that the holiday still stands largely for what it did the first year that it was celebrated.

Along those same lines, another reason that I love July 4th, is because it makes me think of the Revolutionary War, one of my favorite historical time periods. I don’t know why, but I love books, movies, and stories that take place in colonial America. Part of it may be the fact that during that time period, America as we know it today was so young. It was only just beginning. We look back at the signing of the Declaration of Independence, read the writings of Washington, Jefferson, Franklin, Payne, Henry, and all the others and it reminds us of what America was created to be. America today is not what America was then, and in this context, I don’t mean that in a good way.

It was formed with the concept of “freedom” as the basis of everything. It was new, it was exciting. Nothing like the United States of America had ever been attempted before. Democracy was a new frontier that those men and women were forging. They were so excited about the America that they envisioned, that they were willing to sacrifice everything for just a chance at it. A land in which all men are equal. A land where your potential was limited only by your own will and ability, not by who you were born to, or the color of your skin (eventually). I think we take that idea for granted so often. We were born so long after that idea of equality had become a staple in this part of the world and culture, that we don’t even realize the contrast. They moved from a world in which you were born into your place, and those who were born elites dictated what everyone else did and who they were. And they moved into a world where no one was born better than anyone else. Every man could forge his own future. What an idea! What a revolutionary way to structure a nation! Everyone the world over thought the founding fathers lunatics. Yet, here were are 200 years later. And America has changed. But, I’ll save my ramblings about America’s depravity for a later date.

Independence Day. It reminds me of that time when America was an ideal. A romantic time in which dreams ruled men’s hearts. America was fresh and ripe and sweet. And people stood up for what they believed to be self-evident truth. It was an absolute truth that went against the status quo, and they didn’t care who it offended or infuriated. Truth is truth. And America truly was beautiful.

But, I digress. Today is Independence Day. And I love it. For the reasons already listed and other, far less intellectual, but no less important reasons. The first of these reasons is Independence Day’s Summer-time identity. It’s kind of the central “Summer” date. Both physically and spiritually. It is “the” Summer holiday. Plus, Independence Day get-togethers are always fun, ’cause they’re usually more laid back. It’s just people getting together for a barbeque or casual hang-out. And any holiday that gives a legit excuse to shoot off fireworks is a-ok in my book.

So, this has been an extremely schizophrenic post, largely because I didn’t have much in mind to write about when I started, and I pretty much just wrote what came to mind. All my ramblings aside, July 4th is a great holiday. One that will always hold a special place in my heart.

There’s money to be made here!