August 27, 2010
Here We Go
Well, it’s finally happening. It’s nearly a month behind schedule, but it’s happening. Next Tuesday, the 31st, I will be falling asleep in the city of Chicago, IL. I’ve got an apartment leased, rent in the mail, and rental car reserved. Here we go.
Monday morning, I’ll pick up an SUV from Avis, drive it home, load it up with all of the stuff that I’ll be taking with me up north, and probably try to take a nap. Then around 9:00 or 10:00 Monday night, I’ll set off for the wild north. It’s about a 15 hour drive, so I’ll probably see the Chicago skyline crest the horizon around noon on Tuesday.
Lord willing, I’ll pick up the apartment keys, spend half an hour hauling all the stuff from the car to the apartment, then drive a mile downtown to Avis, drop the car off, and spend 15 minutes walking back to my new home.
The apartment I’m leasing is a total of 325 square feet. For perspective, that’s about 18.5′ x 18.5′, or a mid-sized living room. It’s a bed, office desk, bathroom, closet, small dining table and corner kitchen. I don’t even know where I’m going to set my piano up. I’m on the third floor, and I’ve got a small window that looks north over a parking lot and Division St.
The location is near La Salle Blvd. and Division St. in the Western part of Gold Coast in central Chicago. I’m a five minute walk from the beach, a two minute walk from the train station, and a 20 minute train ride from nearly anywhere in the city. There’s an Apple Store less than a mile away, and a Chipotle two blocks down the street. Life is good.
It feels less surreal than it seems like it should. I’ve been dreaming of this for a year and a half, and now that it’s finally happening, it doesn’t feel weird or risky. It just feels right. I’ve been asked countless times how I’m feeling about it. Nervous? Worried? Excited? Anxious? I’m definitely excited, but not the slightest bit nervous or worried. At this point, all of the unknowns are pretty much taken care of. I’ve got my apartment nailed down, rental care reserved, heck I’ve even scheduled the guy to come out on Wednesday and switch the internet on. Frankly, I’m more relieved to finally have an end in sight than anything else.
Beyond that, though, at this point the scariest part is saying goodbye. Saying goodbye to my fantastic friends, my amazing family, the places I’ve always known; basically saying goodbye to my life thus far. Everything else is happening so quickly that most of that is tucked away in the back of my mind, but I know it’ll be more difficult than I expect it will be. Even if it doesn’t hit me until I’m sitting alone in my Chicago apartment next week, not knowing the name of a soul within 500 miles, wishing more than anything that I could see a Texas sunset.
But that’s the nature of things. The closer I get to leaving, the bigger that part of me that wants to stay grows. Countless times over the past few weeks, I’ve just suddenly had an overwhelming moment of “I don’t want to leave” in which nothing seems to matter except that I stay right where I am. But it passes as quickly as it comes, and the clocks ticks a little bit closer to the 30th.
Ultimately, I’m just ready to be there. It’s going to be a difficult few weeks, but I’m ready to be doing it rather than thinking about it. Everything about my life will be completely different, new and unknown, but at least I will be settled somewhere for a while. I won’t be concerned with making a huge move or reaching some giant goal anymore. I’ll be concerned with trying a new coffee shop, or eating at that one restaurant, or finding the park, or learning the public transportation system.
I’m not concerned.
brother i’m so pumped for you. chicago is such a rad place. blue lines, red lines. beautiful graffiti. good times for sure.
i’ll be flying in late september/early october and would love to spend a day with you and have you meet some of my friends if you’re up for it.
enjoy your apartment. enjoy your chipotle. you’ll have the time of your life and texas will be waiting for you if and when you decide it’s time to head back.
cheers.
Mannnn… I am -excited-.
Can’t wait to see ridiculously frequent updates from Chipotle in Chicago.
I’m also looking forward to a facetime walkthrough of your new place, and frequent cross-nation Starcraft 2 battles of glory.
I’m proud of you broseph. You’ll be missed like crazy, and we’ll be praying for you.
Kick Chicago in the face for me. :D
Caleb I’m so excited for you and so proud of you! We will miss you but we expect some uber great updates from the Windy City! God bless and we are praying for you!
WOW!!! I’m so jealous…hahaha I’ve wanted leave Texas for many years. I’m glad you’re living your life and taking a chance! I wish you the best of luck and success. I will also be praying for you. We’ll miss you at the Sbux Reunion. ;o)
Man, you’re leaving.
That’s weird.
I’m so happy for you, and I’m glad you’re going on this adventure. We are really going to skype you into bible studies, though. Or at least skype you into dinner with the Steeds every once in a while.
I love you so much, and I’m so happy we’re friends.
Hey man, followed here from one of Kyle Steed’s tweets. I live in Chicagoland myself – don’t know what your situation is once you get up here (other than the size of your apartment and your neighborhood) but let me know if you need anything. Welcome to the Windy City!
Go get em’ tiger. I remember feeling the exact same way right before I joined the military. It’s a scary thing picking up and leaving your life behind, but it’s also an amazing thing. It’s amazing because you get to carry your story to a new place, filled with new people who don’t know how awesome you are. It’s a chance to really explore your soul and find out more about what makes you, you. I, along with the rest of your family and friends, am so happy for you. Make sure and send us your mailing address so we can send you stuff every now and then.
- peace -
Oh, Caleb!
Caleb, after reading your blog it has inspired me even further to branch away from a nervousness that has been in my mindset.
Sometime we as people have to do something that we aren’t really sure of but just know that what we do is what we do… we push ourselves past limits that we thought we wouldn’t/couldn’t cross. Yet in the long run these points that have been surpassed make us the people who we are supposed to be and bestow gifts that we use the rest of our lives.
Take care of your self and enjoy life my friend.
Cob
I’m now finally figuring out how to let God dictate the ebb and flow of my life, learning to experience true joy in the process of trusting Him and His control over circumstances . Man, doing the difficult and not so comfortable things at His bidding shows you how strong and present He Is. Go with Him, Caleb, in all you do. I look forward to hearing that side of your adventure.
Well, I hate to crowd the field…but let “The Adventure” begin! If you see any 50 somethings wandering around looking like they just found a new lease on life, let me know. You’re never too old…or from this perspective…never too young. So…how windy is it??? Love to you :-)Diana