July 11, 2010
Lord Willing
One month from now, I’ll be writing a blog post from a coffee shop in Chicago about life in the Windy City. Seven months from now, I’ll be right here writing a blog post about moving back.
Lord willing, of course.
A few weeks ago, I pulled the proverbial trigger on something I probably should have done years ago: Taking a risk. Doing something reckless. “Giving it a shot.”
Having been birthed and raised in the suburbs north of Dallas, I’ve never lived outside of a circle 20 miles in diameter. I went to a local college, living with my wonderful parents (and sisters) until six months before graduation. I took jobs always where close friends worked. It’s been great, and I wouldn’t change the past decade even if I could. But nowhere in all of that have I ever really done anything a little crazy or risky. Nothing that put me outside of the comfortable world I’ve always known. And having no reason to move or branch out, I’m on track to stay here for my entire life.
And don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with that. But as I get a bit older and I look back on my adult life, those little “what ifs” start to rear their heads, and I can’t help but wonder how things would have ended up if I had branched out a bit. Normally I would internalize all of that and use it as fodder for future self-loathing. But not this time.
Past decisions are over and done; time has washed its hands of them. There is nothing I can do to change my early 20s. But there is something I can do to change my late 20s. So here goes.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to live in the city. Urban lifestyle is so appealingly different from my hitherto suburban experience. Waking up on the 23rd story of a rundown apartment building, walking two blocks through the crowded streets to catch a train to take me across town so that I can spend the morning reading in the park. Sighing as I groggily realize it’s another stormy Thursday, until the sight of my ridiculously oversized umbrella makes me smile and I whistle over the rainy din as I walk to work. Well, that just sounds charming.
But staying there, settling down, and raising a family in the hubbub of the city? That sounds slightly less charming. So my solution is this strange extended business trip / vacation / walkabout hybrid. My plan is to live there for six to nine months, then come back.
The proverbial trigger that I pulled was putting in an official two weeks’ notice at my job of three and a half years, which will end this Wednesday. On top of that, I’m moving most of my stuff into storage in the next few days, and staying with my parents for a few weeks while I get the other details worked out. A lot still has to come together for me to actually make the move, but I’m hoping to be up in Chicago within the next three weeks. Again, Lord willing.
I’m also working on (yet another) Cabeeb.com overhaul that will be better suited to chronicle my little adventure, amongst other things. Though it will likely not fully come together until I’m well into said adventure.
If you’re the praying type, I would definitely appreciate prayers leading up to and in the midst of this. I’m ashamed to admit that I initially made this decision with very little prayerful consideration. But now as I’m praying, not for confirmation but for unbiased direction, God has given me several affirmations that this is what I should be pursuing right now. It might fall apart, or change midway into something completely different. But for now, this is what I think I’m supposed to be doing. I just want to be poised to follow wherever He leads me every step of the way.
I’m ecstatic, terrified, anxious, overwhelmed, and at peace all at once. It’s a strange place to be, and unlike any point in my life so far. But I absolutely love it.
Even if something happens tomorrow that completely demolishes the plan, leaving me jobless and homeless, I won’t regret one bit of it. Because for once, I gave it a shot. I put it all on the line and went full tilt from the light to the hazy twilight of the unknown. When I’m 70, I won’t look back on the summer of my 27th year and think “What if…”
Like I said, Lord willing.
Hey! I wrote a follow up FAQ too!
http://www.cabeeb.com/2010/07/i-will-now-be-taking-questions/
Good luck, Caleb. I once went on a similar adventure that was supposed to last a month. I came home two years later. It was one of the greatest decisions I’ve ever made. I hope you find what you are looking for and have the most wonderful 6-9 months of your 27 years.
“I just want to be poised to follow wherever He leads me every step of the way.”
I think your heart is definitely in the right place here. And I applaud you for being a little reckless. I know it’s important for a man to find what’s in his heart by stepping out into the unknown. And sometimes we, as Christians, can paralyze ourselves by worrying too much over prayer and uncertainty. So who know’s what Chicago has in store for you. But that’s the exciting part. Just like when I joined the military, I wasn’t 100% sure it was God’s will, but I dove off the high-dive with nothing but faith and hope in my hands. And look where I am now. I say that to encourage you and if nothing else, you will learn some valuable life-lessons from this new endeavor.
But don’t forget, you’ll be severely missed. Your wine bottle tunes will not be soon forgotten.
Caleb, I believe with all my heart that one can never go wrong when stepping outside one’s comfort zone. After you do it you realize how jumping off the cliff isn’t so impossible or out of reach as it might seem. This should be an inspiration to us all and is a bucket of cold water to my face to step out and not wait until I feel “ready” to do so. If we don’t do it now, we leave room for the unwanted companionship of regret. I’m proud of you. You’ve got my prayers!
Just as taking chances may result in great success or stunning failure, not taking chances ususally results in mediocrity – in my mind a much worse fate than a stunning failure. I have had both great successes and humbling failures in my past and have learned much from both. I suspect mediocrity was never really an option for you. Fly well, my young falcon!
Caleb-
I am a bit jealous of your new adventure, but mainly in awe! I have left a job once in my life when I did not have another one and I must say it was scary and exciting at the same time. Chicago sounds like a great landing place and I look forward to watching you from a far via this blog. I cannot imagine that you will not have success but for sure it will be a time in your life that you always remember and have stories to tell!! Blessings and best wishes!
Huh. If this had happened a year or so earlier, we could’ve hung out in the city. You know, painted the town red. Caught a Cubs game.
Alas, providence forbade.
Brother, I’m so immensely proud of you for taking this leap! I definitely concur with Dad–better to take the chance and fail magnificently than to not take it at all. I can’t wait to see what happens to you in the Windy City. And as one of those “praying types,” count on me to keep you lifted up for 6 to 9 months.
Caleb, I’m so excited for you. Kelsey decided to leave the country for six months, you’ve decided to move to a city you’ve never visited, and I’m moving to Denton.
Well, I have to start somewhere…
well done, sir.
i’m proud to call you a friend.
I know I’ve already said this offline, but I wanted it recorded that I’m so excited for you, proud of you, and excited to see how you kick Chicago in the face in these coming months.
I’ll miss you a ton man. I hope this time is amazing for you. I can’t wait for the updates!
“I’m ecstatic, terrified, anxious, overwhelmed, and at peace all at once.”
That is exactly how I felt when I was about to get married and move to Japan. I told my friend John, “I am absolutely terrified, but I still want it more than anything else I’ve ever wanted.” I think God gives us that certainty to battle the fear when we need it. I’m so glad to call you a friend, and really proud of you for taking a step of faith and going for something you dream about. We will miss you immensely, but I am so excited for the next few months of your life to roll out – I know you won’t have any regrets!
Love you!
Well…being the praying type…you have been on my heart these past weeks and its just taken me time to remember that my blog is connected to your blog…As one who grew up in the city and still wonders what it would be like to live in a loft apartment in the arts district and walk to work and various sundries…I say let the adventure begin! I am praying and will be, but just wanted you to know that you have a large extended family behind you, and although we’ll be minus one very special friend here, we’re in your corner. “He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge…”