Cabeeb is the blog and online alter-ego of Caleb White, a Dallas-based Web designer, musician, entrepreneur, and all-around swell fellow[citation needed]
When not blogging, he can usually be found at his online summer home, http://calebwhite.me.
As long-winded as it was, the rundown of my plan to move to Chicago did leave a few questions unanswered. An oversight that I would like to take this opportunity to...
One month from now, I’ll be writing a blog post from a coffee shop in Chicago about life in the Windy City. Seven months from now, I’ll be right here writing a...
I develop quite a few sites in WordPress. Being that many of these sites are not “blogs” and need to behave like a traditional, static website, I’ve come across and worked through...
Today marks the 22nd consecutive day that I’ve written 750 (or more) words at 750words.com. And I would like to officially encourage you to try the site out as well.
What...
A long, long time ago – in 1993 – AT&T ran a campaign called You Will, that showcased a few visions of where they predicted telecommunications would be in the next 10-15...
“I’m ecstatic, terrified, anxious, overwhelmed, and...
Caleb . . . you BEAST! SOOO happy for you. This...
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I have a question: Why do we all have British...
I know I’ve already said this offline, but I wanted it...
There comes a point in every young man’s life when he looks in the mirror and suddenly the face looking back at him isn’t a child’s. The face he finds himself staring into is that of maturity and adulthood. The face of a man.
Or so they tell me.
Yesterday was my half-birthday. My birthday being on August 12th, February 12th would mark me being exactly half-way between birthdays.
I had planned on making a post on the actual birthday to celebrate, but it completely slipped my mind. It was such a monumental occasion, though, that I figured a belated Happy Half-Birthday to myself is better than nothing.
My aging mind is failing me.
Ever have one of those fantastic mornings where you wake up with a smile on your face seeing the dawning day as one giant opportunity? You pop out of bed willing and excitedly determined to face the day’s challenges?
Yeah, me neither.
The Uniqlock; I momentarily saw it on the sidebar of Chris Taft’s blog and was instantly intrigued.
It’s a campaign for a Japanese clothing label, Uniqlo and I’m kind of hooked on it. The music and synchronized segments are creative and oddly captivating. And, well, Japanese girls are cute. What can I say?
It almost makes me want to buy one of those sweaters.
Almost.
First off, this ad is 100% legit. And I mean that with all my soul. I literally took a screen shot, cropped it down, and uploaded it. I saw this gem in the middle of a website I was reading, and instantly forgot everything else I was doing.
Take a second to consider this ad so that you can fully understand what it is that Demità ge has accomplished. Even I, after hours of reflection can’t fully wrap my mind around the repercussions. It’s nothing short of catastrophic.
Immortality, people! Immor-freaking-tality. It’s been the dream of mankind since the dawn of time. The holy grail, the fountain of youth, diet sodas and countless other relics have been the stuff of legends for centuries. Now, we can gladly add Dermità ge to that list.
While those other myths brought youth and immortality to the old and dying – as if that wasn’t enough – Dermità ge does them one better, and will actually bring those who have already died back to sweet, glorious life. In fact, as the ad so brilliantly proves, it will take a long deceased, half-decomposed woman, and not only regift her with the miracle of life, but also (as advertised) “reduce skin imperfections.” These imperfections apparently include the imperfection of humanity thus turning you into a gorgeous young woman resembling something between a mannequin and a lawn gnome.
It is important to note that there is a small disclaimer on what will hereafter be referred to as “The Ad of Life.” The Ad of Life apparently contains “simulated images.” Because I have nothing better to do with my time, I did a little research into the matter and discovered that the team behind The Ad Of Life was actually forced to doctor up the “Before” image a little. Shocking, right?
Apparently, the original image was too horrific for general viewing, so in order to get approval for use of the ad, they had to make the cadaver look slightly more human. Otherwise, the FCC wouldn’t have let them use The Ad of Life, nobody would learn about Dermità ge and mankind would still be held fast in the iron grip of mortality. While I’ve not personally seen the original “Before” image, the former Dermità ge Marketing Executive turned Old Gypsy Beggar Woman I met with described the original image as “mind-alteringly terrifying” and “where’s my two bits?” The undoctored “Before” image is also purportedly responsible for the Second Russian Revolution and the death of J. Edgar Hoover.
At this point, you may still be a bit skeptical. And why not? Even though you are confronted with irrevocable proof so eloquently presented by The Ad of Life, its claims seem too good to be true. You may not yet be willing to… oh, I don’t know… sell all your worldly possessions and fanatically devote yourself to the indistinct and wholly conceptual ideal of Dermità ge. That’s completely understandable. It’s a huge step, and one that I’ve regretted ever since.
Before making that foolish though unavoidable commitment, why not try immortality absolutely FREE (plus the cost of shipping and handling). S&H is a small price to pay for the added self-esteem that comes with immortality. And, honestly, what have you got to lose?
Make checks payable to The Umbrella Corporation.